Pure Sex Radio

Wisdom from a Sage in Recovery Ministry

Sometimes we don’t have a “topic” for the podcast, but instead simply have a conversation with someone with loads of experience and wisdom in sexual struggles and recovery. This is what today’s episode is all about.

Our guest is author and speaker, Nate Larkin. He founded the Samson Society, a fellowship of Christian men who are serious about authenticity, community, humility, and recovery. 

In our conversation, Nate shares his own story of addiction and recovery. Then we dive into lots of questions that draw on his decades of personal and ministerial wisdom that will prove helpful to any man listening who wants to break free from unwanted sexual behaviors. 

To learn more about Nate and his ministry, visit SamsonSociety.com.

More Resources:

• Gateway to Freedom 3-day intensive
• Samson and the Pirate Monks*
• Find a Samson Meeting

Related Podcasts:

• Men Helping Men Grow and Mature
• The Importance of "Whole Man" Recovery
• 3 Levels of Sobriety

 

*This is an affiliate link. Be Broken may earn a commission on qualifying purchases.

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Living More Than a Love Story

How important is trust to emotional health and building strong, mature relationships? It is vital! Yet, many men we have served in our ministry struggle terribly with trust. 

In today’s episode, Stephen and I are going to dig into this important topic of trust through the lens of one man’s story that begins with him not being able to trust his parents with his thoughts and feelings and ends with him finally living a “love plus trust” story. 

We will share the distinction between love and trust and how love plus trust takes us even deeper than love alone. We need to learn how to understand trust in its multilayered dimensions if we want to enjoy strong, healthy relationships.

For resources from Stephen to help you grow and mature emotionally, visit DoctorMarriage.org.

More Resources:

• 40 Days to Oneness
• Growth Map: The Pathway to Peace, Rest, and Joy*
• Untangling Emotions by Groves & Smith*

Related Podcasts:

• Men Helping Men Grow and Mature
• Healing Steps to Rebuild Trust
• Why Men Struggle to Love

 

*This is an affiliate link. Be Broken may earn a commission on qualifying purchases.

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Understanding Human Agency

Albert Bandura was a psychologist who is credited with developing the term “human agency,” which refers to how you act, think, and interact with life.

In this episode, Stephen and I will unpack the four functions of agency and how they might help us develop better self-awareness and deeper faith and relationships. 

The 4 functions of agency are: 

1. Intentions (or intentionality)
2. Outcomes (or expectations)
3. Self-regulation
4. Self-reflection

 

Agency asks, “Are you paying attention to your own intentions and are you getting better at self-regulating and self-reflecting?’ We hope this conversation will help you understand yourself and others better – and use your agency for good, godly purposes.

To learn more about Albert Bandura and his research, visit AlbertBandura.com.

More Resources:

• Untangling Emotions by Groves & Smith*
• Growth Map: The Pathway to Peace, Rest & Joy by Stephen Cervantes*
• APEST Spiritual Gifts Test

Related Podcasts:

• Why Must I Learn Me?
• Understanding 4 Key Roles in Your Story
• About Your Emotional Connecting Skills

 

*This is an affiliate link. Be Broken may earn a commission on qualifying purchases.

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Forgiving Forward (with Bruce and Toni Hebel)

Every Christian knows that forgiveness is central to salvation and restoration to God. But what does forgiveness look like between us and those who have hurt us?

Our guests today are Bruce and Toni Hebel, founders of Forgiving Forward, a ministry that helps people experience the freedom of the gospel through the power of forgiveness. They share their own journey of learning the hard way how vital forgiveness is to personal character and health, as well as effective ministry to others. 

In our conversation, Bruce and Toni define forgiveness, explain why Christ is the only one who can pay the full debt of sin and wounds, expose the roots of unforgiveness, the common obstacles to forgiveness, and ultimately how to forgive in real-life situations of betrayal and pain through 5 key protocols:

1. GRATITUDE for God’s forgiveness of me.
2. REPENT of my sin of unforgiveness.
3.  WHO do I forgive and for WHAT?
4. FORGIVE each offense from my HEART.
5. Ask God to BLESS them and look for ways to bless them when possible.

To learn more about Bruce and Toni’s ministry and to get their book, visit ForgivingForward.com.

More Resources:

• Forgiving Forward book*
• FAQ: How to Forgive
• FAQ: How to Help Others Forgive

Related Podcasts:

• The 7 Steps of Forgiveness
• Betrayal Healing Phases
• Grace to Forgive

 

*This is an affiliate link. Be Broken may earn a commission on qualifying purchases.

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New Research on Why Women View Porn

Did you know that 58% of women who struggle with porn were exposed to porn before age 12? Or that 93% of women who struggle with porn never attend a support group? And that 48% of women viewing porn were a victim of sexual abuse?

Our guest today is Crystal Renaud Day, a coach, author, and speaker – and the founder and executive director of SheRecovery.com. She has been a leading voice for women in this space of sexual integrity ministry since 2009. 

Recently, Crystal and her ministry conducted research to answer the question “What Drives Women to Porn?” There were over 1300 anonymous female participants, ages 18 to 65+ from 58 countries, who had used or been addicted to pornography in the past or present. 

This episode discusses the findings of this research and why this is important to women struggling and those who love them. 

To see the research and results, visit SheRecovery.com.

More Resources:

• LivingOnPurposeKC.com
• BeggarsDaughter.com
• Sexual Shame in Women and How to Experience Freedom*

Related Podcasts:

• Total Freedom for Women Struggling with Porn
• God's Grace for Women Struggling with Porn and Sexual Shame
• Freedom and Healing from Shame, Addiction, and Abuse

 

*These are affiliate links. Be Broken may earn a commission on qualifying purchases.

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Please rate and review our podcast: Apple Podcasts

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4 Thoughts that Make Our Own Minds Feel Unsafe

Lots of men over the years have shared the sentiment of the following statement: “I’m good as long as I can stay out of my own head.” As we have unpacked this idea with the men who have shared this, there have been four key thoughts that typically keep guys from feeling safe within their own minds.

In today’s episode, Stephen and I are going to share these four thoughts. They are: 

1. Shame
2. Old Stories
3. Core Fear
4. Unhealthy Fantasies

 

When you can understand how these thoughts operate and how to combat them, you can reclaim that territory in your mind for hope, peace, and joy.

For helpful "daily thoughts" on emotional health and growth, visit DoctorMarriage.org.

More Resources:

• Growth Map by Stephen Cervantes*
• Identity: What Foundation Are You Building On?*
• Gateway to Freedom 3-Day Intensive for Men

Related Podcasts:

• How to Be at Peace in Aloneness
• Overcoming Shame and Embracing Your True Identity
• 50 Things To Do When Your Core Fear Gets Triggered

 

*These are affiliate links. Be Broken may earn a commission on qualifying purchases.

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Please rate and review our podcast: Apple Podcasts

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Best of 2023: Back to the Basics of Sexual Integrity

Originally Aired on March 7, 2023

View this episode on Youtube

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Today’s episode is getting back to the basics of living a life of sexual integrity. Stephen Cervantes and I have been working with men desiring greater integrity for over 20 years, and we know that a life of integrity is not static. You must be on a daily growth mission to mature. 

In our conversation, we share some of our personal growth tips and many other insights we have seen that help men get on a growth mission and discover their God-sized purpose in life.

A great next step in your pursuit of greater integrity is our Gateway to Freedom 3-day intensive workshop. This Friday-Sunday event will help you get down to the roots of your unwanted sexual behaviors and provide practical, powerful direction for living each day with integrity and purpose. 

Learn more about Gateway to Freedom and how to register at Bebroken.org/gtf.

More Resources:

• FREE Integrity Webinar for Men
• 40 Days of Purity for Men
• The 4 Pillars of Purity

Related Podcasts:

• Keys to Long-Term Freedom from Unwanted Behaviors
• 3 Levels of Sobriety
• Insights and Action Steps for Men

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Please rate and review our podcast: Apple Podcasts

Subscribe to our YouTube channel.

Best of 2023: Helping Couples Walk the Path of Restoration After Sexual Betrayal

Originally Aired on February 28, 2023

View this episode on Youtube

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HELP REACH THE YEAR-END GOAL TO IMPACT MORE LIVES!

We have a goal of $103,000 to reach even more individuals and families in 2024 through this podcast and all our other ministries.

To partner with us, give at Bebroken.org/donate or call 210-822-8201.

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Sexual betrayal in marriage is more common than most of us would like to admit. But this terrible fracture is not incurable for couples who choose to go on a journey of healing and restoration.

Our guest today is Dr. Michael Sytsma, a licensed professional counselor, ordained minister, professor, and founder of Building Intimate Marriages. 

In our conversation, Michael answers questions about the “why” of affairs, the impact of past trauma, the myth of affairs only occurring in “bad” marriages, how to know if restoration is possible, what is required for restoration, and more. 

To learn more about Michael and Building Intimate Marriages, visit IntimateMarriage.org.

More Resources:

• Secrets of Sex and Marriage (book)
• Gateway to Freedom for Men
• Wives Care Groups

Related Podcasts:

• Rebuilding a Healthy Marriage After Betrayal
• Affair Recovery Through a Trauma Lens
• Helping Husbands and Wives Go All In

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Please rate and review our podcast: Apple Podcasts

Subscribe to our YouTube channel.

A 3-Year Roadmap of Recovery and Emotional Growth

HELP REACH THE YEAR-END GOAL TO IMPACT MORE LIVES!

We have a goal of $103,000 to reach even more individuals and families in 2024 through this podcast and all our other ministries.

To partner with us, give at Bebroken.org/donate or call 210-822-8201.

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Just about every man who has ever entered recovery from unwanted sexual behaviors has wanted a “quick fix” to his addiction. But there are no quick fixes. In fact, true recovery is a years-long process that ultimately leads to deeper emotional growth over a lifetime.

In today’s episode, Stephen and I share a 3-year roadmap of recovery and emotional growth that every man who enters recovery needs to understand and embrace if he wants lasting freedom and lifelong joy. The road of recovery may be long, but it is worth walking it. 

To get Stephen’s emotional growth resources for men, visit DoctorMarriage.org.

More Resources:

• Gateway to Freedom 3-Day Intensive
• Grace-Based Recovery Online Study Groups
• 40 Days of Purity Online Course

Related Podcasts:

• Keys to Long-Term Freedom from Unwanted Behaviors
• Grace to Persevere
• Men Helping Men Grow and Mature

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Please rate and review our podcast: Apple Podcasts

Subscribe to our YouTube channel.

Understanding Freedom, Identity, and Creativity in Addiction Recovery

HELP REACH THE YEAR-END GOAL TO IMPACT MORE LIVES!

We have a goal of $103,000 to reach even more individuals and families in 2024 through this podcast and all our other ministries.

To partner with us, give at Bebroken.org/donate or call 210-822-8201.

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Recovery from any addiction is difficult and there are many stages and layers to the process. It is easy to become overwhelmed and wonder if there is any hope and what the ultimate goal is in recovery.

My guest today is Zach Ellis. He is the Director of New Programs at The Nathan Project, a ministry whose mission is to engage, equip, and encourage Christian families struggling with pornography, sexual brokenness, and addiction.

Zach shares how he got into this space of ministry and some key elements of recovery that are vital for true transformation: freedom, identity, and creativity. He talks of freedom as both a “breaking” and a “building” and how this two-sided aspect of freedom leads to deeper meaning and purpose. He shares of the importance of identity and the value of listening. And, finally, Zach shares some insights around the need for exploring and expressing creativity as part of recovery.

To learn more about The Nathan Project, visit NathanProject.net.

To learn more about Zach and his photography, visit ZachEllisPhotography.com.

More Resources:

• Gateway to Freedom 3-Day Intensive
• Grace-Based Recovery Online Study Groups
• 1-on-1 Personal Ministry Consultation

Related Podcasts:

• Men Helping Men Grow and Mature
• Keys to Long-Term Freedom From Unwanted Behaviors
• The Importance of Whole Man Recovery

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Please rate and review our podcast: Apple Podcasts

Subscribe to our YouTube channel.