Pure Sex Radio

Assumptions vs. Communication: The Battle for Relational Harmony

PSR Podcast is a listener supported outreach of Be Broken Ministries. Partner with us through giving at BeBroken.org/donate. Thank you for your support!

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In this episode, Stephen Cervantes and I dive into the crucial topic of expectations in marriage, focusing on the difference between assumed and discussed expectations. We share lots of personal stories and insights, highlighting how unspoken assumptions can lead to misunderstandings and conflicts. 

Our conversation focuses on the importance of open communication and dialogue to foster a healthier relationship. I reflect on my own marriage, illustrating how discussing expectations can transform a relationship from merely coexisting to truly sharing life. We encourage you, if you’re married, to engage in meaningful discussions about expectations to avoid the pitfalls of unspoken assumptions.

For daily insights from Stephen, visit DoctorMarriage.com.

Topics Covered in this Episode:

• The distinction between assumed expectations and discussed expectations in marriage.
• The impact of unspoken assumptions on misunderstandings and conflicts in relationships.
• The importance of open communication and dialogue in addressing expectations.
• Personal anecdotes illustrating the challenges of navigating expectations in marriage.
• The influence of family backgrounds on partners' expectations and roles.
• The collaborative process of navigating expectations as a couple.
• The necessity of ongoing discussions about expectations as relationships evolve.
• The role of awareness and perception in understanding each other's viewpoints.
• Strategies for initiating meaningful discussions about expectations in marriage.
• The overall message that couples are better together through intentional communication and collaboration.

 

More Resources:

• The Deep-Rooted Marriage* by Dan Allender and Steve Call
• Renewing Us Couples Retreat
• Find a Counselor or Coach

Related Podcasts:

• Breaking Down Barriers: The Art of Active Listening
• The Deep-Rooted Marriage: Cultivating Intimacy, Healing, and Delight
• 4 Skills to Transform Your Marriage

 

*This is an affiliate link. Be Broken may earn referral fees on purchases through this link.

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How Therapists and Pastors Can Collaborate to Heal Marriages After Infidelity

PSR Podcast is a listener supported outreach of Be Broken Ministries. Partner with us through giving at BeBroken.org/donate. Thank you for your support!

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In this episode, we invite back one of our favorite counselors,  Jessica McDaniel, who runs a private practice in Austin, TX with her husband, Ryan. We dive into the crucial collaboration between therapists and pastors, especially when helping couples deal with infidelity and betrayal trauma. 

Jessica shares how both therapeutic and pastoral support are essential for comprehensive healing. We discuss the importance of creating safe environments, clear communication, and breaking down the stigma around mental health in church settings. Jessica also offers practical advice for building strong, collaborative relationships between therapists and church leaders to better support couples in crisis.

To learn more about Jessica and Ryan’s counseling practice, visit McDanielCounseling.com.

Topics Covered in this Episode:

• Collaboration between therapists and pastors in addressing infidelity and betrayal trauma.
• The importance of integrating therapeutic and pastoral support for couples.
• Challenges individuals face in choosing between confiding in a pastor or a therapist.
• The divide between "church life" and therapeutic needs, and its impact on seeking help.
• Creating a safe environment for individuals to discuss sensitive issues with church leaders.
• The necessity of dual support from both therapists and pastors for couples in crisis.
• Addressing misconceptions and biases between therapists and pastors.
• The role of communication and regular updates in collaborative support.
• The stigma surrounding mental health issues in church settings and the need for normalization.
• Encouraging proactive relationship-building between therapists and church leaders for better support networks.

 

More Resources:

• Find a Counselor
• Couples Intensives
• Church Resources

Related Podcasts:

• Becoming a Healing Church
• Talking About Taboo (with Mike Novotny)
• Can the Church Be a Safe Place for Healing and Transformation?

 

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Inviting Men to Wake Up Emotionally and Spiritually

PSR Podcast is a listener supported outreach of Be Broken Ministries. Partner with us through giving at BeBroken.org/donate. Thank you for your support!

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In this episode, Dr. Stephen Cervantes and I discuss the emotional and spiritual awakening journey for men. We explore the challenges of emotional disconnect and the impact of societal expectations on men's emotional health. 

Stephen shares insights on moving from hiddenness and brokenness to a fuller life in Christ. We emphasize the importance of expressing needs and feelings, and the courage it takes to wake up emotionally. 

We share our own personal stories and practical advice in hopes to inspire men to connect more deeply with their emotions and relationships. Men, we invite you to join us on the journey of emotional and spiritual growth. 

For daily insights from Stephen, visit DoctorMarriage.org.

Topics Covered in this Episode:

• Emotional and spiritual awakening for men
• The journey from emotional disconnect to deeper engagement
• Coping mechanisms and their impact on emotional health
• The significance of expressing needs and feelings
• Societal expectations and their influence on men's emotional well-being
• The transition from hiddenness and brokenness to a fuller life
• The challenges men face in recognizing and articulating their emotions
• The role of relationships in emotional growth and healing
• The dangers of living in isolation and avoiding vulnerability
• Encouragement for men to embrace their emotions and seek deeper connections

 

More Resources:

• Gateway to Freedom 3-Day Intensive for Men
• Grace-Based Recovery Online Groups for Men
• 40 Days of Training for Your Soul

Related Podcasts:

• The Moment of Awakening
• Helping Men Practice Self-Awareness to Build Stronger Relationships
• Mr. Unemotional: Moving from Isolation to Connection

 

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No Longer a Slave: Transforming Shame into Strength in Ministry

In this episode, I chat with Hadley Baker, who courageously shares his journey through sexual addiction and its impact on his life as a pastor. Hadley opens up about his childhood trauma as the result of an unwanted pregnancy, believing he was unlovable. Then came the early onset of his addiction to pornography and the eventual internal conflict of living a double life while in ministry. 

He recounts pivotal moments, such as his spiritual awakening, the challenges in his marriage, and his path to healing through counseling and truly understanding God's love. 

We also highlight the importance of authenticity and open discussions within the church to support anyone struggling with unwanted sexual behaviors. Hadley’s story is a powerful reminder of the need for grace, hope, and compassion.

To learn more about Hadley and get his book, No Longer a Slave, visit HadleyBaker.com.

Topics Covered in this Episode:

• Personal journey of sexual addiction and its impact on life as a pastor.
• Importance of discussing sensitive topics like addiction within the church.
• Influence of childhood trauma and family dynamics on self-worth and identity.
• Early exposure to pornography and its role in developing compulsive behaviors.
• Spiritual awakening and commitment to faith as a turning point.
• Struggles with living a double life while in ministry.
• Escalation of addiction and the cycle of shame and secrecy.
• The significance of counseling and understanding God's love in the healing process.
• Transition back into ministry after overcoming addiction and personal struggles.
• Advocacy for creating safe spaces in churches for open discussions about addiction and personal challenges.

 

More Resources:

• Gateway to Freedom 3-Day Intensive for Men
• The Healing Church* by Sam Black
• SheRecovery: Porn Addiction Support for Women

Related Podcasts:

• From Porn Pastor to Pure Desire
• Reframing How the Church Views Sexual Purity
• Addressing Childhood Trauma in Men

 

*This is an affiliate link. Be Broken may earn referral fees on purchases through this link.

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Best Practices for a Successful Therapeutic Separation

PSR Podcast is a listener supported outreach of Be Broken Ministries. Partner with us through giving at BeBroken.org/donate. Thank you for your support!

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In this episode, we have back on the program our friend and colleague Andrew Arthur, a mediator specializing in faith-based mediation, to talk about the delicate topic of separation in relationships and how to navigate them with hope. We delve specifically into therapeutic separation, which is a process aimed at healing and potentially reuniting couples facing serious challenges like infidelity and sexual brokenness. 

Andrew highlights the importance of having a support team, including counselors, mediators, and spiritual advisors, to collectively guide this tough journey for couples. We also discuss the emotional and operational aspects of separation, the need for individual care, and the crucial role of safety and trust in working towards reconciliation. It's a hopeful and insightful conversation for anyone facing relational struggles.

For more information about Andrew and his resources, visit GenesisChristianMediation.com.

Topics Covered in the Episode:

• Definition and understanding of therapeutic separation in relationships.
• The role and importance of a support team during separation.
• Common reasons for couples to consider separation, including infidelity and communication breakdown.
• Establishing ground rules and expectations during the separation process.
• Overcoming obstacles to reunification, such as differing parenting styles and conflict patterns.
• The significance of safety and trust in relationships during separation.
• Steps toward reunification and the importance of joint work and assessments.
• The value of commitment to the therapeutic process and early intervention.
• The concept of forgiveness as a personal journey in healing.
• Resources and support available for couples navigating separation and reconciliation.

 

More Resources:

• Restoration Therapy* by Dr. Terry Hargrave
• DisclosureHope.com
• Find a Counselor

Related Podcasts:

• Conflict Management for Marriages Healing from Betrayal
• The Role of Boundaries in Marriage Restoration
• Helping Couples Walk the Path of Restoration After Sexual Betrayal

 

*This is an affiliate link. Be Broken may earn referral fees on purchases through this link.

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What is Oneness and Why Does it Matter in Your Life?

In this episode, Stephen and I explore the profound concept of "oneness," touching on its dimensions of belonging, connection, unity, and intimacy. We discuss how oneness is essential in relationships with family, spouses, and God, emphasizing the importance of vulnerability and mutual understanding. 

We highlight the very real challenges and rewards of pursuing true oneness; it isn’t like flipping a switch and you will automatically achieve oneness. Oneness is a journey of growth and self-discovery. We invite you to reflect on your own relationships and seek deeper connections in your life. It’s a mission worth the journey.

To get daily insights from Stephen, visit DoctorMarriage.org.

Topics Covered in this Episode:

• Exploration of the concept of "oneness" and its complexities.
• Discussion of belonging, connection, unity, and intimacy.
• The significance of personal experiences in understanding oneness.
• The role of vulnerability and mutual understanding in fostering deeper connections.
• The relationship between oneness and one's connection with family, spouses, and God.
• The importance of open communication and trust in relationships.
• The idea of oneness as a love story and a journey of self-awareness.
• The theological perspective on oneness, particularly in relation to marriage and divine connection.
• Reflection on the ongoing journey of growth and understanding in relationships.
• Encouragement for listeners to seek deeper connections and explore barriers to oneness.

 

More Resources:

• Free Men's Integrity Webinar
• Free Wives Betrayal Trauma Healing Webinar
• Sacred Marriage* by Gary Thomas

Related Podcasts:

• Are You a Loner or Connector in Relationships?
• Unlocking Greatness: Why Emotional Connections Matter More than Success
• Living More than a Love Story

 

*This is an affiliate link. Be Broken may earn referral fees on purchases through this link.

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Beyond Broken Vows: Rebuilding Marriage After Sexual Betrayal

In this episode, our guests are Johnny and Emily Spigelmire and they share their profound journey through Johnny's sex addiction and its impact on their marriage. Johnny opens up about his early exposure to pornography, his secret struggles, and the eventual escalation to extramarital affairs. 

Emily shares her perspective, detailing the confusion and pain she experienced, as well as her unwavering faith in their marriage’s potential for healing. Together, they discuss their path to recovery, the importance of honesty, and their mission to help others through their podcast, "Beyond Broken Vows." Their story is a powerful testament to redemption and hope.

If you are in a marriage that has experienced infidelity or other kinds of sexual betrayal, this episode will help you discover hope and insights for healing and restoration.

For more information about Johnny and Emily and their ministry, visit BeyondBrokenVows.com.

Topics Covered in this Episode:

• The impact of early exposure to pornography on personal development.
• The struggles and consequences of sex addiction within a marriage.
• The dynamics of anger and emotional turmoil in relationships.
• The process of deception and gaslighting in the context of addiction.
• The journey of healing and recovery from infidelity.
• The importance of open communication and honesty in rebuilding trust.
• The role of faith and spirituality in overcoming personal challenges.
• The significance of support networks and community in recovery.
• The decision to share personal stories to help others facing similar issues.
• The transformation of a relationship through vulnerability and shared experiences.

 

More Resources:

• Beyond Broken Vows Podcast
• Recovery Coaching with Johnny and Emily
• DisclosureHope.com

Related Podcasts:

• Rebuilding a Healthy Marriage After Betrayal
• Helping Couples Walk the Path of Restoration After Sexual Betrayal
• How Can Therapeutic Disclosure Help Heal Marriages Affected by Sexual Betrayal

 

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Please rate and review our podcast: Apple Podcasts

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Navigating the Path from Isolation to Intimacy (with Bret Marshall)

In this episode, I chat with Bret Marshall about his incredible journey of faith and personal transformation. Bret opens up about his struggles with emotional expression and sexual sin, and how these challenges impacted his relationships, especially with his wife, Tena. He shares the pivotal moments that led to his healing, including a transformative intensive experience through a past partnership between Be Broken and the Navigators ministry organization. Bret highlights the ABC’s of emotional health: Acceptance, Belonging, and Connection.

Bret also emphasizes the need for personal vulnerability, authentic connections, and creating safe spaces for men to share their full stories. His own story is an incredible reminder of the transformative power of God’s presence in our lives.

Learn more about Bret on his YouTube channel: @whylivetoday.

Topics Covered in this Episode:

• Bret Marshall's journey of faith and personal transformation.
• The significance of being known and sharing personal stories.
• Challenges faced in relationships, particularly with a spouse.
• The importance of creating safe environments for men to share their experiences.
• Emotional suppression and its impact on personal well-being.
• The role of communication in fostering intimacy and connection in relationships.
• The necessity of vulnerability and honesty in personal and spiritual growth.
• Building supportive relationships with mentors and peers for spiritual development.
• Encouragement for those struggling with hidden aspects of their lives to seek help and support.

 

More Resources:

• Gateway to Freedom 3-Day Intensive for Men
• Mere Christianity* by C.S. Lewis
• Find a Group

Related Podcasts:

• The Story of 3 Men
• Understanding 4 Key Roles in Your Story
• Mr Unemotional: Moving from Isolation to Connection

 

*This is an affiliate link. Be Broken may earn referral fees on purchases through this link.

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Please rate and review our podcast: Apple Podcasts

Follow us on our Vimeo Channel.

The Deep-Rooted Marriage: Cultivating Intimacy, Healing, and Delight

In this episode, I am thrilled to welcome Dr. Steve Call, a clinical psychologist and co-author with Dr. Dan Allender of The Deep Rooted Marriage: Cultivating Intimacy, Healing, and Delight*. We dive into the book's themes, focusing on how past traumas influence present marital conflicts and how to grow in emotional understanding and intimacy. Dr. Call shares his personal marriage journey, emphasizing the importance of awareness and curiosity in relationships. 

We discuss practical steps for couples to cultivate awareness, the role of play in healing, and strategies for managing triggers. Dr. Call offers hope and resources for couples to nourish their relationships.

To learn more about Dr. Call’s resources and to get the book, visit TheReconnectInstitute.com.

Topics Covered in this Episode:

• Discussion of the book "The Deep Rooted Marriage: Cultivating Intimacy, Healing, and Delight.*"
• Exploration of how past experiences and traumas influence current marital conflicts.
• Importance of cultivating awareness and curiosity in relationships.
• The role of intensive counseling formats in addressing deep-rooted issues.
• Strategies for couples to develop awareness during conflicts.
• The significance of play in fostering connection and healing in marriage.
• Addressing triggers and shame in relationships, particularly during recovery.
• Practical strategies for emotional regulation and self-care during challenging moments.
• The metaphor of soil amendments to illustrate the need for nurturing relationships.
• Resources and support for couples seeking to deepen their connection and navigate challenges.

 

More Resources:

• The Deep-Rooted Marriage* by Allender and Call
• Marriage Story Intensive
• Reconnect* by Dr. Steve Call

Related Podcasts:

• 6 Hours that will Transform Your Marriage
• Working Through Emotional Disconnection in Marriage
• Growing a Stronger Marriage Even When it's Difficult

 

*This is an affiliate link. Be Broken may earn referral fees on purchases through this link.

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Please rate and review our podcast: Apple Podcasts

Follow us on our Vimeo Channel.

Failing Forward: Turning Setbacks into Hopeful Growth Steps

In this episode, Dr. Stephen Cervantes and I dive into the emotional impact of failure. We both express how deeply we hate failing, describing how it triggers feelings of rejection, isolation, and shame. We explore the importance of reframing failure, emphasizing that God's love still remains constant despite our setbacks. His grace abounds! 

We suggest that solitude can be a sanctuary for self-reflection and growth, encouraging you to create a “holy space” for healing. We ultimately want to offer you a compassionate perspective on failure, encouraging gentleness toward yourself and confidence in the transformative power of God's unwavering love. 

We start the episode by saying, “I hate failing.” We end it with, “But God likes me and so do I.” 

For daily thoughts from Stephen, visit DoctorMarriage.org.

Topics Covered in this Episode:

• The emotional impact of failure on individuals.
• Feelings of rejection, isolation, and shame associated with failure.
• The cycle of shame and loneliness stemming from failure.
• The importance of self-acceptance and kindness in overcoming failure.
• The role of community and support in addressing feelings of inadequacy.
• Generational patterns of failure and their effects on identity.
• The concept of solitude as a sanctuary for self-reflection and growth.
• The relationship between identity, self-worth, and external validation.
• The nature of God's love in relation to failure and self-acceptance.
• Strategies for reframing failure as a part of the human experience rather than a defining characteristic.

 

More Resources:

• Gateway to Freedom 3-Day Intensive for Men
• Grace-Based Transformation* by Jonathan Daugherty
• 40 Days of Purity for Men online course

Related Podcasts:

• Understanding Failure in Recovery
• What's Your Failure and Rejection Management Plan
• How to Be at Peace in Aloneness

 

*This is an affiliate link. Be Broken may earn referral fees on purchases through this link.

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Please rate and review our podcast: Apple Podcasts

Follow us on our Vimeo Channel.