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This program tackles the tough subjects of porn, lust, sexual brokenness, and practical principles for living every day in sexual integrity.
Episodes
3 hours ago
3 hours ago
In this episode, Dr. Stephen Cervantes and I dive into the emotional impact of failure. We both express how deeply we hate failing, describing how it triggers feelings of rejection, isolation, and shame. We explore the importance of reframing failure, emphasizing that God's love still remains constant despite our setbacks. His grace abounds!
We suggest that solitude can be a sanctuary for self-reflection and growth, encouraging you to create a “holy space” for healing. We ultimately want to offer you a compassionate perspective on failure, encouraging gentleness toward yourself and confidence in the transformative power of God's unwavering love.
We start the episode by saying, “I hate failing.” We end it with, “But God likes me and so do I.”
For daily thoughts from Stephen, visit DoctorMarriage.org.
Topics Covered in this Episode:
- The emotional impact of failure on individuals.
- Feelings of rejection, isolation, and shame associated with failure.
- The cycle of shame and loneliness stemming from failure.
- The importance of self-acceptance and kindness in overcoming failure.
- The role of community and support in addressing feelings of inadequacy.
- Generational patterns of failure and their effects on identity.
- The concept of solitude as a sanctuary for self-reflection and growth.
- The relationship between identity, self-worth, and external validation.
- The nature of God's love in relation to failure and self-acceptance.
- Strategies for reframing failure as a part of the human experience rather than a defining characteristic.
More Resources:
- Gateway to Freedom 3-Day Intensive for Men
- Grace-Based Transformation* by Jonathan Daugherty
- 40 Days of Purity for Men online course
Related Podcasts:
- Understanding Failure in Recovery
- What's Your Failure and Rejection Management Plan
- How to Be at Peace in Aloneness
*This is an affiliate link. Be Broken may earn referral fees on purchases through this link.
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Wednesday Mar 26, 2025
Wednesday Mar 26, 2025
In this episode, we dive into the dynamics of "loners" and "connectors" in relationships. Everyone falls into one of these categories. As we explore this topic, my friend and co-host Stephen Cervantes discusses how loners tend to be independent and process internally, while connectors thrive on dialogue and emotional exchange. We examine how these differences impact communication and emotional connection, particularly in marriages.
We share insights on personal growth, emphasizing the importance of understanding and appreciating each other's communication styles; we aren’t out to change a loner into a connector or vice versa. We give lots of personal anecdotes and practical advice, aiming to help you navigate these differences to foster deeper connections and build stronger, more fulfilling relationships.
For daily thoughts from Stephen, visit DoctorMarriage.org.
To read the Thought on Loners and Connectors, go to DoctorMarriage.org/loners-and-connectors.
Topics Covered in this Episode:
- Distinction between "loners" and "connectors" in personal relationships.
- Characteristics of loners: independence, introspection, and internal processing.
- Characteristics of connectors: relational, expressive, and dialogue-oriented.
- Impact of communication styles on relationships, particularly in marriage.
- Importance of emotional connection and its role in relationship dynamics.
- Challenges faced by loners in engaging with emotional exchanges.
- The necessity of active listening in fostering trust and connection.
- Strategies for navigating differences between loners and connectors.
- The role of personal growth in improving relationship dynamics.
- Encouragement for couples to discuss and understand their connection styles for deeper intimacy.
More Resources:
- 40 Days to Oneness by Stephen Cervantes
- The 40 Day Relationship Builder* by Stephen Cervantes
- Building True Intimacy* by Matthew & Joanna Raabsmith
Related Podcasts:
- Dealing with Conflict Podcast Bundle
- Working Through Emotional Disconnection in Marriage
- About Your Emotional Connecting Skills
*This is an affiliate link. Be Broken may earn referral fees on purchases through this link.
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Wednesday Mar 19, 2025
Wednesday Mar 19, 2025
In this episode, we invite back our friends and counselors, Matthew and Joanna Raabsmith, to talk about the crucial role of boundaries in restoring marriages after betrayal, particularly sexual infidelity. Matthew shares insights from the perspective of the betraying spouse, emphasizing self-reflection and accountability, while Joanna offers guidance for the betrayed spouse on navigating emotions and setting personal boundaries.
We delve into defining boundaries as supportive frameworks rather than punishing limitations, avoiding misuse of boundaries for control, and harmonizing them to foster safety and mutual respect. The Raabsmiths highlight the importance of individual responsibility and how boundaries can create a safe space for healing and rebuilding trust.
To download the Raabsmith’s free Honest Connection Guide, visit RenewingUs.com/puresexradio.
Click here for the Raabsmith's full bios
Topics Covered in this Episode:
- Importance of boundaries in marriage restoration after betrayal
- Definition and positive framing of boundaries in relationships
- Distinction between healthy boundaries and manipulative or controlling behaviors
- Role of individual responsibility in setting and maintaining boundaries
- Challenges faced by the betrayed spouse in establishing boundaries
- The necessity for the betraying spouse to take accountability and establish their own boundaries
- Navigating fear and emotional responses related to boundary setting
- Strategies for harmonizing boundaries to support both partners and the relationship
- Addressing boundary violations and the importance of introspection
- Establishing new habits and structures to support healthy boundaries in the relationship
More Resources:
- Building True Intimacy* by Matthew & Joanna Raabsmith
- Renewing Us Recovery
- Renewing Us Couples Retreat
Related Podcasts:
- Rebuilding a Healthy Marriage After Betrayal
- The Need for Boundaries After Betrayal
- Helping Couples Walk the Path of Restoration After Betrayal
*This is an affiliate link. Be Broken may earn referral fees on purchases through this link.
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Follow us on our Vimeo Channel.
Wednesday Mar 12, 2025
Wednesday Mar 12, 2025
In this episode, I chat with author and blogger Sarah Matzke, who bravely shares her journey through struggles with body image, an eating disorder, and marital challenges, including infidelity.
Sarah opens up about her upbringing, the pressures she faced, and the lies she believed about her worth. She recounts the painful yet transformative process of rebuilding trust with her husband, JP, and how her faith in Christ played a crucial role in their healing. Sarah's story is a powerful testament to the importance of vulnerability, honesty, and the grace of God in overcoming life's toughest obstacles.
To learn more about Sarah and get a copy of her book, visit SarahJeanMatzke.com.
Topics Covered in the Episode:
- Personal struggles with body image and eating disorders
- Impact of societal pressures and familial expectations on self-worth
- Challenges faced in marriage, including infidelity
- The process of rebuilding trust after betrayal
- Importance of open communication and transparency in relationships
- Role of faith and spirituality in healing and restoration
- Seeking professional help and therapy for personal issues
- The significance of accountability and honesty in relationships
- The journey of self-discovery and confronting personal lies
- Sharing personal stories as a means of hope and encouragement for others
More Resources:
- Desert Vineyards: A Story of Bulimia, Adultery, and Infertility Redeemed by Truth* by Sarah Matzke
- The Body Revelation* by Keeton and Connolly
Related Podcasts:
- Understanding Female Sexuality and Struggles
- Confession and Disclosure for Couples
- Helping Couples Walk the Path of Restoration After Sexual Betrayal
*This is an affiliate link. Be Broken may earn referral fees on purchases through this link.
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Please rate and review our podcast: Apple Podcasts
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Friday Mar 07, 2025
Friday Mar 07, 2025
In this episode, I have back on the program Carl Thomas to dig into the recovery journey from pornography and sexual addiction. Carl shares his personal story and emphasizes the importance of community and addressing mental and emotional health.
We discuss how recovery goes beyond just stopping harmful behaviors or behavioral sobriety and involves understanding and healing deeper emotional wounds. Carl highlights the stigma around mental health and the need for a holistic approach to recovery. He also provides resources for those seeking support. This episode aims to offer hope and guidance to anyone navigating similar challenges or interested in the recovery process.
To learn more about Carl and the Live Free Ministries resources, visit LiveFreeCommunity.org.
Topics Covered in this Episode:
- Recovery from pornography and sexual addiction
- Importance of community in the recovery process
- Personal journey and background of the speaker
- Holistic approach to mental and emotional health in recovery
- Addressing underlying emotional and mental health issues
- The stigma surrounding mental health and seeking help
- The interconnectedness of various aspects of life in recovery
- Coping mechanisms and their relation to addiction
- Encouragement for ongoing growth and development in recovery
- Resources and support available for individuals seeking recovery
More Resources:
Related Podcasts:
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Please rate and review our podcast: Apple Podcasts
Follow us on our Vimeo Channel.
Wednesday Mar 05, 2025
Wednesday Mar 05, 2025
In this episode, I sit down with Melissa Macomber to explore the emotional and psychological impact of parental infidelity on adult children. Melissa shares her personal story of discovering her mother's affair at 13 and the ensuing family dynamics. Now, as a therapist, she highlights the lack of resources for adult children dealing with such betrayal and emphasizes the importance of addressing trust issues and healing – no matter how long it has been since the parental infidelity took place.
We discuss the broader implications of infidelity on family relationships and the unique challenges faced by children at all stages of growing up. Melissa offers valuable insights and resources for those navigating this difficult journey.
To learn more about Melissa and her research, visit MelissaMacomber.com.
Topics Covered in this Episode:
- Emotional and psychological impact of parental infidelity on adult children
- Personal experiences of discovering a parent's affair
- Family dynamics and their evolution post-infidelity
- Lack of resources and support for adult children dealing with parental betrayal
- Patterns of infidelity in adult relationships stemming from childhood experiences
- The importance of addressing feelings of betrayal and trust issues
- The role of boundaries in the healing process for adult children
- Distinction between forgiveness and rebuilding trust
- Challenges faced by adult children in navigating their parents' conflicts
- The significance of sharing personal stories and seeking therapy for healing
More Resources:
- Help for Adult Children (of any age)
- Help for Therapists
- Ten Research-Based Facts about Parent-Infidelity
Related Podcasts:
- Why Do We Cheat?
- Talking to Your Kids About Sex (Podcast Bundle)
- Rebuilding Your Marriage After Betrayal (Podcast Bundle)
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Wednesday Feb 26, 2025
Wednesday Feb 26, 2025
Today we have back with us Dr. Jennifer Degler, a renowned specialist in sexual health, and we delve into the often-overlooked issue of painful sex. Dr. Degler brings her wealth of expertise to the table, shedding light on the prevalence and emotional impact of sexual pain, especially among women.
We explore various conditions that explain certain kinds pain during sex and how to address them. She also highlights the emotional toll painful sex can take, noting that "many women suffer in silence, feeling isolated and ashamed, which only exacerbates the problem."
Throughout our discussion, Dr. Degler underscores the significance of still pursuing intimacy in relationships despite these challenges. She explains, "Intimacy is not just about physical connection; it's about emotional closeness and understanding.” She offers hope and practical advice, encouraging couples to seek professional help and create safe spaces for expressing emotions.
To learn more about Dr. Degler and her resources, visit JenniferDegler.com.
Topics Covered in this Episode:
- Discussion of painful sex, particularly from women's perspectives.
- Prevalence of sexual pain disorders among women.
- Emotional and psychological implications of sexual pain.
- Stigma and shame associated with painful sex.
- The impact of societal expectations on women's sexual experiences.
- Importance of open communication in addressing sexual health issues.
- Exploration of various conditions causing sexual pain, such as vaginismus.
- The role of sexual intimacy in fostering emotional bonds within relationships.
- The significance of grieving lost intimacy and processing emotions together.
- Encouragement for seeking professional help and resources for sexual health.
More Resources:
- Sex Life Resources from Dr. Degler
- What to Do When Sex is Painful
- Worry and Anxiety Management Techniques
Related Podcasts:
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Subscribe to our YouTube channel.
Friday Feb 21, 2025
Friday Feb 21, 2025
In today’s episode, we have Wendy Crane with us to talk about her new book, "The Scandal of Virginia Grey." Wendy opens up about her personal journey through infidelity, her 20-year marriage to Reese that didn’t start out like a fairytale, and the healing process that followed. She shares the emotional experience of writing her book, which allowed her to confront past traumas and find redemption.
We discuss the importance of forgiveness, especially Wendy's unique relationship with Reese's ex-wife. Wendy hopes her story offers hope and understanding to others in similar situations, emphasizing that healing and transformation are always possible.
To get the book and learn about coaching services, visit TheSilentAddiction.com.
Topics Covered in this Episode:
- Wendy Crane's personal journey and experiences with infidelity
- The emotional process of writing her book, "The Scandal of Virginia Grey"
- Themes of healing and redemption in relationships
- The significance of forgiveness, particularly in blended families
- The allegorical nature of Wendy's book and its connection to her life
- The impact of revisiting painful memories during the writing process
- The concept of confession as a means of healing
- Target audiences for the book, including those in similar situations and readers interested in redemption stories
- The importance of self-forgiveness and compassion towards others
- Messages of hope and transformation in the face of adversity
More Resources:
- The Scandal of Virginia Grey book
- Basics Webinar for Wives
- Wives Care Groups for Betrayal Trauma Healing
Related Podcasts:
- Life and Hope After Divorce: Reese and Sharon's Story
- Dealing with Divorce, Betrayal Trauma, and Hope
- New Course: 40 Days of Healing for Wives
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Subscribe to our YouTube channel.
Wednesday Feb 19, 2025
Wednesday Feb 19, 2025
In this episode, I chat with Norma Q-Brown, our Family Care director, about preparing parents for spring break, especially regarding their children's online behavior and conversations about sexuality.
Norma provides practical strategies for parents to foster a safe environment for open dialogue, ensuring meaningful conversations about online safety and appropriate behavior – and not just over spring break. We discuss the importance of ongoing communication, setting clear expectations, and addressing idleness. We emphasize the value of empathy, vulnerability, and guiding children through their spiritual journeys, both in everyday life as well as times, like spring break, when schedules and routines are disrupted.
For everything we discussed in today’s episode, visit Bebroken.org/springbreaksuccess.
Topics Covered in this Episode:
- Preparing parents for spring break and its challenges.
- Managing children's online behavior during unstructured time.
- Importance of ongoing communication about sexuality between parents and children.
- Strategies for setting clear expectations and boundaries.
- Addressing idleness and its impact on children's behavior.
- Encouraging productive activities and family engagement during breaks.
- Importance of pre-spring break, during spring break, and post-spring break conversations.
- Discussing online safety and appropriate behavior with children.
- Sharing personal experiences to foster connection and trust.
- Encouraging a biblical worldview and open dialogue about curiosity and sexuality.
More Resources:
- Critical Conversation Free Webinar
- 7 Tips to Help You Address Sexual Issues with Your Kids
- A Family Game Plan for Discussing Porn (online course)
Related Podcasts:
- Teaching Healthy Tech Habits to Your Kids (Podcast Bundle)
- Talking to Your Kids About Sex (Podcast Bundle)
- A Family Game Plan for Responding to Porn
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Please rate and review our podcast: Apple Podcasts
Subscribe to our YouTube channel.
Wednesday Feb 12, 2025
Wednesday Feb 12, 2025
In today’s episode, Dr. Stephen Cervantes and I explore the importance of self-awareness in relationships, especially for husbands. We discuss how men can enhance their relationships by recognizing their interaction patterns and understanding their own emotional state and that of their wife’s.
Stephen emphasizes the value of men engaging with their wives through simple acts like sharing daily thoughts and curiosity, which can foster meaningful dialogue. We also touch on the challenges of communication, the impact of self-absorption, and the importance of processing disappointment with God first. Ultimately, the episode offers practical tools for men to nurture deeper connections with their wives.
For daily insights from Stephen, visit DoctorMarriage.org
Topics Covered in this Episode:
- Importance of self-awareness in relationships, especially for husbands.
- Recognizing patterns in interactions with partners.
- The significance of understanding one's own thoughts and feelings.
- Observing and responding to the emotional states of partners.
- Challenges of communication between men and women.
- The impact of sharing ideas and fostering dialogue in relationships.
- The role of self-absorption and its effects on communication.
- The necessity of processing disappointments with God before addressing them with a partner.
- The influence of tone and demeanor on partner perceptions during discussions.
- Strategies for creating a supportive and understanding relationship dynamic.
More Resources:
- Recognizing Patterns
- 40 Days of Training for Your Soul (free download)
- 40 Days to Oneness (marriage devotional)
Related Podcasts:
- Emotional Growth for Men Podcast Bundle
- Dealing with Conflict in Marriage Podcast Bundle
- Understanding Emotionally Detached Men
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Please rate and review our podcast: Apple Podcasts
Subscribe to our YouTube channel.